I don’t ask you why you drink so why are you asking me why I don’t?
A sober lifestyle requires no explanation. The sober rebellion is here and it’s showing no signs of going away any time soon, quite the opposite in fact, more and more people are choosing to abstain from alcohol and with this comes a barrage of misunderstanding from those in society who simply don’t get it. When was the last time someone questioned your sobriety? Particularly difficult for ex party animals some show pure disbelief when you tell them that you don’t drink anymore, some congratulate, some are downright ignorant and others well, they might even try and force you to drink by shoving a beer in your face [it happens].
What people don’t appear to understand is that there are many reasons for quitting alcohol, in our case we recognised that it was becoming too much, a drain on finances as well as affecting family relationships so we quit and it was by no means easy. There are however many other reasons each to the individual such as health, religion or perhaps you’re in recovery – one intrusive, narrow minded question or pissed up action can put your entire recovery journey at risk, there is no thought about the repercussions of these questions or actions, usually just alcohol fuelled idiocy.
We’ve all had the usual questions, the judgment, like the fact you don’t drink is going to ruin ‘their’ night out, some will applaud you, some will be rude without even realising it and others will be just plain assholes…
Oh, were you an alcoholic?
Never did understand this one, it shows a distinct lack of education and social awareness to assume that someone was/is an alcoholic just because they made the decision to no longer drink, WTF? It’s like all or nothing, you are an alcoholic or you are not – no middle ground or heaven forbid your right to make a lifestyle choice for a myriad of other reasons.
Can’t you have just one?
This one has been asked by family members on more than several occasions and it kind of ties in with the above. Is the answer they are expecting ‘oh yeah, go on then just for you’ or ‘no, because I’ll be back to pouring vodka on my cornflakes in the morning’? Asking this question is just ridiculous, some people want you to drink to make them feel better, somehow they feel something is missing when you’re sitting there with a glass of tonic so why is adding a quart of gin going to make such a huge difference? It’s a bit of a weird one but ultimately it comes down to others inability to respect your personal choices.
So you’ve turned into a boring b*stard
The only thing boring about being sober is having to listen to others repetitive pissed up bullshit over and over… The assumption that sober is boring is plain wrong and when you think about it is actually coming from someone who thinks you’re boring being the real you – not intoxicated with a drug. Getting hammered every night is boring as are the effects the next day, worst of all listening to bragging about how intoxicated people were the night before is boring not to mention childish. If someone thinks you’re boring because of your drinking choice it might be time to wave adios.
“alcohol consumption has become so deeply engrained into society that people think that there is a problem if you don’t partake”
Or what is wrong with you asking me such a ridiculous question in the first place? Why does there have to be something wrong? You didn’t ask me what was wrong when I gave up smoking did you so what is the f*cking difference? This is an example of how alcohol consumption has become so deeply engrained into society that people think that there is a problem if you don’t partake.
Are you pregnant?
Again, this one is based on assumption never ‘assume’ as it makes an ‘ass’ out of ‘u’ and ‘me’. It’s a strange one that some automatically think your pregnant because you’re not drinking – the acceptable excuse and boy does the perception of you change when you say ‘no’, the why’s and the ‘WTF’s follow like they can’t get their head around it, pregnancy would have been perfectly acceptable but your personal lifestyle choice is not?
So what do you do if you don’t drink?
Come to places like this and answer stupid f*cking questions from people like you. What does this question even mean? Do people have a picture in their head of you sitting in the corner of a dark room being as boring as you can be because you made the choice to embrace sobriety? Are people’s lives so restricted that they have to have alcohol to enhance it and become someone they are not? Sobriety is clarity and there are a million things to do with a clear head. Again we have the whole society thing happening and the normalisation of alcohol consumption, drinking has in fact become so normal for some that when they meet someone who doesn’t drink it is so far removed from their own reality they can’t handle it and categorise you as ‘not normal’.
Don’t be such a pussy
Oh shit, so now I’m not ‘cool’ because I’m sober… Frankly I don’t give a f*ck what anyone thinks and comments like these always come from inebriated assholes who feel threatened by your sobriety, the ones who deep down know they drink too much and try to hide behind their wall of alcohol trying to convince themselves everything is ok. For some reason these types usually feel like they have to tell the world that you don’t drink then all of a sudden you have the eyes on you like you’re a f*ucking alien just landed from Tattooine. Just remember it’s them with hangover the next morning not you and how you conduct yourself in your reply will gain the respect others sober or not.
“I have no use for people who can’t respect my sobriety”
If you drink, that’s your choice – we don’t mind at all.
Life is all about choices and we are far from anti alcohol, we’ve met people who have given up and expect everyone else too as well which is rather annoying. If you drink that’s fine, don’t feel the need to hide it or call wine f*cking grape juice [yes that has happened] just don’t start creating issues or questioning why – we don’t ask you why you drink son don’t ask us why we don’t, it is this level playing field where society needs to be in acceptance of sobriety choice.
Ultimately a sober lifestyle requires no explanation , it is however unfortunate that society looks upon anyone who doesn’t drink as ‘not normal’ and this needs to change, the stigma needs to be eradicated where lifestyle choices are accepted and not judged. We are brought up with alcohol through seeing other people drink, bombarded with advertising, social conditioning and peer pressure. Saying no or enough is enough is your right and should not be frowned upon or questioned by others. There are serious issues surrounding alcohol and while society nurtures the normality of drinking there is a far darker side to drinking which needs to be recognised, that though is for another post entirely.
What are your experiences? Let us know in the comments below.